The Job of a Princess


60 000 letters, this is how many Charlotte Elizabeth of Bavaria, a.k.a. Princess Palatine wrote in those forty-eight years she’s been married to Louis XIV’s brother, Duke of Orleans. She had a style of writing distinctly her own….

Versailles, 3 February 1707

I eat my lunch by myself and as quickly as I can. There is nothing more annoying than chew surrounded by twenty guys who watch you chew and who wait for you to swallow; this is why I execute it in less than half an hour….

Saint-Germain, 14 December 1676

We had already caught a rabbit and scared off a magpie, and were travelling along peacefully when I’ve noticed that my dress was in disarray. I stopped the horse and began to dismount, and at this very moment another rabbit took off and everyone after him. My horse followed suit! I was half-way out of my saddle and his jump put me back in, but the reins were lost and I yelled to the rider in front of me to help me; but when he brusquely leaned over, my horse got scared and dashed on. I was OK as long as we were going with the rest of the group, but as soon as I was left alone, I eased myself gently on the grass….

Fontainebleau, 9 October 1694

You cannot imagine how lucky you are to shit whenever you like…. It’s quite different here. I have to carry mine around until evening. There are no latrines on the side of the palace that faces the forest, and I happen to live on that side; consequently, I have to shit in the forest. I like to do it comfortably, and I cannot do it comfortably when my butt is suspended in the air. Any passerby can observe me — men and women, boys and girls, priests and the Hundred Swiss. As you can see, there is no pleasure without pain; and if I didn’t have to shit, I would be a happy camper…; but everyone has to shit and this is why Fontainebleau is filled with shit, mainly that of the Hundred Swiss for they make turds size of you, Madam!

 

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This entry was posted in Chateau Versailles, Court, Courtiers, Princess Palatine, the Hundred Stooges, The Hundred Swiss, Versailles. Bookmark the permalink.

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