Taking Your Life at Versailles


Versailles is not only famous for its erotic adventures, but also for its suicides. When you see someone, hands on the banisters of the Orangery and no camera, just staring into distance for more than ten minutes, consider asking that person a direct question, “Do you need help?” No, I do not advise jumping into the Grand Canal, for although it is three miles long, it happens to be only four feet deep. As for hanging yourself off gates, grills, and trees, the preparatory stages will attract attention of the park personal. In the end blowing your brain out seems like the only sure method, but the fire arms are hard to come by here, unless they are antique.

pistolet de versailles

This is why I decided to give my reader a practical piece of advice on handling an XVIII century pistol. First thing to remember is that after you have been out in the park in this drizzly, foggy weather, your gunpowder has certainly absorbed some moisture, and may not fire. In general, the longer it takes for you to make up your mind, the likelier it is that your flintlock will not go off. Know that the Versailles-style suicide takes patience: relax, look around, enjoy your last moments. The important thing is that you have a plan and are following it. My compliments on the choice of weapon! Made in Versailles?! Just look at this beauty! No need to get flustered this gloomy afternoon, for if you couldn’t do it today, tomorrow you can always reload: fine powder in the flash pan, dry powder in the bore hole.

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About versaillesgossip, before and after Francis Ponge

The author of the blogs Versailles Gossip and Before and After Francis Ponge, Vadim Bystritski lives and teaches in Brest France. The the three main themes of his literary endeavours are humor, the French Prose Poetry, the French XVII and XVIII Century Art and History. His writings and occasionally art has been published in a number of ezines (Eratio, Out of Nothing, Scars TV, etc). He also contributes to Pinterest where he comments on the artifiacts from the Louvre and other collections. Some of his shorter texts are in Spanish, Russian and French.
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